How to Date a Busy Woman.

I've come to realize in our generation women are taking to the cake as the bread winner and have no shame is saying she has her own. We have our own cars, apartments/houses, and multiple jobs; the things our grandmothers may have needed a man for we can now do for ourselves.That being said , many men can be intimidated in having a women that has a lot, in their eyes, maybe even too much going for her. Well guys here are my tip on how to date us busy women out there :).

1. Have your own- Nothing is more attractive than to see a guy TRYING to achieve greatness. As long as you are putting out an honest effort to have your own it will make us more comfortable in having you as a partner. 
2. Be understanding- We may not always be able to be where you want us to be due to our schedules but if we honestly care for you, not once will you ever feel unloved. As  busy women we appreciate the men who stick by our sides because we know its not easy.
3. Be supportive- Have our back ! come to our events, our jobs anything that is important to us. It honestly means the world and of course we would return the favor.
4. Be a partner in crime-Collaborate, Give one another ideas. Be come a team.
5. Remind her she is loved- As a woman it is hard to be strong in the world we live in. Whether its the male dominance that is discouraging us or other women discouraging, it always feels good to know that you always have someone reminding you to carry on.
6. Spend time- Don't let your girl get too busy that she forgets about the relationship. Always try to find time out of the both of your schedules to spend time with one another. Don't just do something lame like going out to dinner, do something fun.. remind yourselves why you even started dating in the first place.

Hope this helps guys <3

xoxokaneica

"A Man That Watch Another Man Never Moves"

This quote came from my grandfather that I have never met. Couple days ago when I was having "one of THEM day" I called my parents seeking comfort. They asked me what was wrong and all I can say to both was "I'm just overwhelmed". My dad of course gave me a lecture on how to not let things get to me and how on need to focus on my school work. My mother on the other hand dug a little deeper. She kinda already understood where the source of my overwhelm-ness  came from. She told me this quote "a man that watch another man never moves". She told me this is something my father's dad would always say. This quote was so significant to my life and stuck to me. My issue and I know a lot of women my age issue is  that sometimes we tend to care what others think about us way more than we should. What we don't realize is that the fact that we stress another's opinion we  give them satisfaction and takes away our energy and believe me I need all the energy I can get lol. What this quote means is that people who sit and what your every move or even have the time to watch your every move are doing absolutely nothing in their life but watching you. While you grow , they sit and watch. Them watching you should have no effect on you cause after all sometimes it feels good to have an audience ;) . Kill them with kindness and don't let them see you sweat. Let go of your fear of others opinions and hold on to your faith in God cause no weapon formed against you shall prosper <3


xoxokaneica

Being True to Yourself: PART 2
Stay Encouraged.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

~ Unknown

Lord knows I am the queen of being stressed out especially when it comes to school ,work and my social life. Stress can easily discourage us and make us want to give up. People around you who tend to not have the same heart as you can discourage you make you feel like you aren't enough. .You may even question "why am I even doing this ? whats the point anymore?"  . STAY Encouraged. That is the biggest part of being true to yourself. If you have to be your own motivation , do so! Tell yourself it gets better because if you Pray and put your mind to it ...it does. Stay in character and know yourself. Know yourself enough to know you are so much better than the negativity around you. This isn't advice I am just telling you all, This is advice I am currently trying to live by myself. The more of yourself you put out there in the world , the more people will be negative and try to bring you down. Build something I like call a "SELF ARMY". A self army doesn't physically fight nor does it argue. A self army is the defense in your head that tells you that regardless of what she or he is saying YOU GOT THIS , you are awesome and everything you are currently doing will more than anything pay off in the end. So today, start building your army. This world is cruel and the more you do the more the world will try to bring you down  but once you build that army you will immediately fight back with self assurance and positivity . No turning back now , it is your time.

xoxokaneica

Being True to Yourself.

As women, we are sacred creatures. We are assessed by the world a lot harder than most. We have to keep ourselves to a certain standard so the world can easily differentiate us from the rest. Living a private life as a woman is the best but hardest thing to do. Reason being is because we have big hearts..we love so easy and deeply. It can be our friends or our lovers but we love so so deep. A lot of times when we are hurt we are told  who not to trust ,how to act and who not to talk to. I'm here to tell you to be true to yourself. Do what makes you happy. I know for a fact holding a grudge and staying mad at a person has to be the WORST thing I could ever do. It hurts more to be upset at a person who barely even notices you're hurt, who's going on about their lives while you are stuck being upset...now what sense does that make. Once again like I said, BE HAPPY. When it comes to other women, uplifting one another should be our main priority. Being cordial and staying positive. Honestly, people try too hard now a days to stay mad when it is so easy to be happy. Love one another , forgive yourself and be true to who you really are.



xoxokaneica

Influential Women  

Okay so I've been a little M.I.A lately due to me moving into my new apartment and school starting back. Sadly I also haven't been posting my Influential Women Sunday post so to make up here's a collage and info on a couple amazing women to look up to. Stay Encourage & Motivated !



Stylist to your favorite celebs ! She styles for people like Jay-z and Diddy  and her list goes on. Her amazing style and grace is an inspiration for young black women or young women in general. Who says there's no money in fashion ... your proof is right here. 
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Our beautiful first lady ! Mrs. Michelle Obama. Our generations perfect example of grace. She doesn't just stand behind her husband, President Obama, She also stands out with her campaign to fight childhood obesity. Her modesty and grace has made her a style icon around the world. 
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Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe is a nun from Uganda who helps thousands of women who were raped , sexually assaulted or abused find shelter. In her shelter women who are mistreated can finally feel safe and eventually get back on their feet again. Nyirumbe was recently named one of Time Magazine's most influential people.
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Ertharin Cousin , originally from chicago, is the 12th executive director of the United Nations World food program. She shows ultimate ambition and strength in her fights to help end world hunger. 


xoxokaneica

#SAVEOURSONS
#PRAYFORFERGUSON
#RIPMIKEBROWN


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It's 2014 ...

Dear My Fellow African American Youth,

Now is the time, today is the day to STAND UP ....but not fight . No cussing , no angry twitter/ instagram post. We must stray away from what is expected. We must continue what they fear the most, our intelligence. The people who are killing our generation are  not afraid of us and what we can do to them physically. They are afraid of us doing and being what was always intended. They are afraid of us having degrees, becoming presidents, being their doctors and lawyers ..having children with their children. The people who are killing us are afraid of our progress. Now is the time that we stay in school and we earn those positions in power so that eventually justice WILL be served. We can fight back today but that isn't going to stop another young black male or female from being gunned down tomorrow. We need to understand that it is up to us as black youth to work twice as hard to get to where we need to be so that these senseless killings will not be a factor in our future; we won't have to fear our own children to come being gunned down because they "thought" he or she had a weapon. Justice will be served but it starts with us. 

"You Cute For a DARKSKIN GIRL!"

"LIGHTSKINS Don't text back!"

The most annoying thing of our generation has to be discriminating jokes about African American skin tones. People feel as if we joke about it or the fact that we are all black that it is okay to assume a person's personality due to them being "light skin" or "dark skin". Things that are being said includes "light skin girls don't reply to text messages" or "dark skin girls have attitudes". For the record, as dark skin woman , I don't have to or always reply back to every message and I also know plenty of light skin woman who can have  attitudes as well. Don't be fooled thinking that this is a majority rules type of thing. This is an unfortunate mindset that our generation is accepting. This mindset ages back , of course, to slavery days but is now being set in the minds of young girls growing up.Young girls who are being told that they are pretty even though they have dark skin is a shame. We are teaching our young girls that they are a product of what they look like and that they are automatically judged for something that cannot be changed. Young girls are going as far as using bleaching agents just to lighten their skin so that they are what is considered "pretty". Young women are being told that they are stuck up , they are not black enough and not easy to date because they have lighter skin. This needs to stop. As BLACK women we are QUEENS and God's children. We should not be treated as any less. Our skin tone does nothing but compliment how beautiful we are. It's our natural glow that many would pay hundreds for. LOVE, EMBRACE and THANK GOD for the beautiful skin you're in.

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xoxokaneica 

Striving for Greatness !

Meet Brandon and Kimalih 

These two aspiring actors are striving for greatness with their new movie coming to a youtube screen near you and their undeniable claim for success.

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"You will be told no so many times before an actual yes"

Brandon Todd is a junior at Columbus State University a member of Collegiate 100 men organization as well as a man of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity inc. When asked when he first realized acting was a passion Brandon also known as "BD" explained that acting wasn't always his passion growing up in La Grange, Georgia. Just as most boys his age, sports was a passion of his since high school. Brandon's family would always remind him of how talented and funny he was and he finally saw it for himself when he starred in his first high school play. From that point on he pursed acting.

A huge influence on BD's drive and ambition comes from his family and knowing he has something to prove being the first to graduate from college also his push to help people and give back.

"When I'm on stage ,I feel free"

Kimalih Browne is a college sophomore at Columbus State University and a member of Collegiate 100 men organization. Kimalih was born in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. His passion for acting did not start till his junior year of high school. Being in a musical, he was inspired when he starred as the main role. That is when he truly realized that the stage was his comfort zone  and acting was his main focus. His sole inspiration can from his junior drama teacher, Ms. Kirsten Van Wagner. She constantly encouraged him to keep going and keep pursuing his dreams.

So what makes you different from most men your age ?

The guys explained how they feel like a lot of men their age don't strive to take the leadership role. They explained that there's more to life than just partying and drinking. As African American men they want to defeat the odds. They express that through their fashion as well. These guys are tucking in their shirts and pulling up their pants. Stepping out the box with their fashion and resisting to be a follower has definitely kept these guys on a straight path of getting away from the norm.

Where do you all see yourself in five years ?

Brandon and Kimalih plans to continue to build a team of writers, actors and sound techs. They plan on building an empire something close to Tyler Perry's. They're eager to get on the big screen and expanding beyond there.

So tell me about your new movie !

BD and Kimalih were tired of just making skits and wanted to show their versatility. They decided it was time to start making movies. Their new movie "Pressure" is soon to be released August 2014.It was written last summer and has finally came to life. Stay TUNED!

Instagram

@Rasmailh

Twitter

@Rasmailh340

                                                   Instagram, Twitter and Youtube 

                                                  @DaBestNextActor

Subscribe to their Youtube !

xoxokaneica

The Best Years of Your Lives: A Letter to College Freshman

Nothings better than finally getting that acceptance letter. That sigh of relief because you're finally going to college. Seems like something you've waited your whole life for is finally here. After the excitement calms down a bit, you now begin to be anxious maybe even a little scared. You realize that this will be nothing like high school and mom and dad won't always be around when you need them. I'm here to tell you this is the start of the best years of your lives. College will be everything you make it , don't expect too much, go with the flow and have fun. School work should definitely come first and don't worry about being peer pressured to not do work because an "A" feels a lot better than a hangover,trust me. Here's a couple tips to how to successfully get through your first year of college.

Social Life.

As a freshman, don't strive to know the "popular" people. you'll end up looking crazy and not many people will want to be around you. Get involved!  be around positive , fun people and you just might end up being the popular one. You don't necessarily have to be at every outing or event but don't be closed in. Even if you don't know anybody, don't hesitate to go to things happening on campus. That is the perfect way to get to know people and for others to get a great impression of you. Network !

Work Ethic.

Strive to create a great work ethic. it's all about balance. Know when to study but also know when to take a break for yourself. Try to never ever make laziness apart of your daily routine. Push for greatness, graduation should always be the first thing on your mind.

Stay Humble.

Don't let the college life make you forget where you came from. Call home weekly, let those know at home if you're doing well or not. It's easy sometimes to get so caught up in your college life that you forget about your home life.

Relationships.

If you end up in a relationship the beginning of your freshman year ,like I did, lol or if you are beginning college in a relationship my biggest piece of advice is to take it slow. Understand that you both are at a new stage in your lives and  it will not be the easiest. Don't be discouraged by the up's and down's ..true love will always prevail .

Last but not least , takes these years to better know yourself.. every semester you should feel growth in yourself. Your friends may go and come , your major may change but it's all in the beauty of growing up and becoming your own form of success. 

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Youtuber of the week !

Dephne Madyara

I recently found her amazing youtube and it's truly is a blessing. If you ever need a kick of faith her youtube is a must. This particular video had me in tears. She talked about not trusting in yourself but completely trusting in God and he'll take you from your current situation into the one you're meant to be in :). Let go of past situations so God can bring you to where you need to be or even to who you're meant to be with .She has amazing videos check her out and SUBSCRIBE !

Rape is NEVER funny.

I remember when i first seen the unconscious photos of Jada on twitter. My first thoughts were "where are her friends?" "Who are these dudes taking the picture?". What is sad in our generation, instead of questioning if she was okay and what exactly happened people instantly commented saying hurtful things and blaming the girl in the picture for her condition she was in. Not only as a female but as a person in general, i support Jada and any other women that has had to go through the horror of rape. #RAPEISNTFUNNY.

Influential women sunday

KeKe Palmer

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Not only is this twenty year old the youngest talk show host ever , she did an incredible job portraying R&B superstar Chilli in this years biopic Crazy,Sexy,Cool: The TLC Story . Keke Palmer exudes confidence and beauty giving young women a positive female figure to look up to. 

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check out more about Keke Palmer

Are you the GOOD GIRL ?
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Are you the girl who doesn't want to go to every outing ,you see the good in everyone , you have a good heart but rarely get credit for it?Being the "Good Girl" has to be one of the most difficult things in today's society to do. You tend to feel alone because you are a lot different from the girls around you ,you're afraid to say your opinions at times because you know it's what everyone least wants to hear. I'm here to say it is okay to be the good girl ! Growing up throughout middle and high school i was always the good girl out of my group of friends. I was always the one who wasn't really having sex, i wasn't aloud to go to many parties and I had a strong faith in God at a young age. .



Why is it okay to be the Good Girl ?
You have more time to learn about yourself as a woman. You learn to know what you will and won't allow for yourself... you learn self-worth a lot easier than most. Never feel intimidated ! Many girls or even guys will make you feel like you aren't cool for being a "good girl" but when things go wrong in their life they'll be running to you for advice. Take Pride in yourself ! If you have a strong faith, don't hide it for anyone , show people you love God and you may even bring them closer to him without even knowing and that's a blessing in itself. It's okay to make mistakes ! One mistake or a couple will not mess up your image don't worry ! know who you are and where you came from , understand the past will always be stuck in the past. Keep moving forward. Never give up! we all know the saying "Good girl gone bad" but if you are good girl at heart being "bad" will get old real soon , it isn't apart of your nature and that's okay girl ! You'll find love ! another saying we all know is " you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" lol and it's true you sure can't .. you don't have to sleep around to find love ... it's the girls that show substance ,standards and genuine care that gets the guy in the end ...trust me ;). last but not least HAVE FUN ! don't let trying to keep up a specific image turn you into a nun lol have fun , go out ...turn up ! it's okay because you earned it . You have kept yourself at such a high standard that going out will be nothing but fun! you'll have no drama and you can go home knowing you had a good time without compromising your values. Anything that you do will be because you wanted to, not cause you felt like you had to and people will respect you. The beauty of being a GOOD GIRL :)


xoxokaneica

Youtuber of the week !

prettywitty77

she's recently my favorite youtube to watch because we share the same texture of hair (relaxed). Her channel is full of great relaxed hair tips. #teamhealthyhair ! :)

don't forget to subscribe !

influential women sunday




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Phylicia Rashad also remembered as Claire Huxtable from The Cosby Show(1984-92) is the true definition of an influential woman. This television and theater actress is also a Tony award winner and is still acting at the age of 66. Phylicia Rashad shows young women that being classy is never out of style. Recent work includes Steel Magnolias(2012) , For Colored Girls(2010) and A Raisin in the Sun (2008)

More Info on Phylicia Rashad 

LOVE.
I reluctantly write this post. I prayed about this post actually. I prayed that it would come across in a positive way, I don't want this post to represent my life or anyone else's life that I know but here my opinion on love. Love is amazing, one of the most amazing feelings you can ever feel and if you have yet to feel it , don't worry it's coming.Love is beautiful but eventually it gets real. Love is demanding, compromising... and as we all know it can hurt. Love requires FAITH. Faith in God and faith not in just the other person and faith in yourself. Loving yourself the way God intended. If ever a person makes you question what you can offer when you have given your all then at this moment you need to talk to God ask him , "am I doing all I can do ,?" and when the Lord speaks, you may not hear words but it is LOUD.. you feel it in your heart.I cannot tell you what decisions to make when it comes to staying in a relationship or not but I can tell you to do what gives you ultimate peace. If a person is not doing you right in a relationship don't retaliate, as good as it may feel in the moment to hurt that person, eventually you will be the only one hurt when you try to get revenge. I promise it isn't worth it. Now don't be dragged ! As i once heard , you either walk away or get dragged. This meaning you can gather yourself, your thoughts and walk away with peace. Getting dragged refers to constant arguing, constantly being depressed, constantly  WAITING. What exactly are you waiting for ? Just think about it. God will never "drag" you . Okay lets shift gears...now if you are the person doing the wrong ask yourself these questions , is it worth it? what if he/she walks out my life forever? depending on what you think about will tell you whether or not you are actually in love with the person you claim you love. Understand .... you have another persons heart in your hands and the simplest thing you do can rip that person apart. When it could be a lot more simple , realize you are making life difficult for that other person when it could be so easy..you can be so happy with that person if you are willing to grow up and be a man/woman. Think about if that person has been there for you , the time they put into you when they did not have to ..purely because they love you. When you think about your future and you think about the moment you see your wife/husband to be down the aisle looking amazing, and nervous at the same time because you two are about to spend the rest of their life together and everything you've ever done to them to hurt them,in that moment it all goes away because you and that person are finally confessing your love for one another in front of God and everyone else in your life, if you see that person that you are doing wrong ..you need to reevaluate your actions. Marriage is about feeling comfort , feeling trust and love. Those things are built overtime therefore these years are crucial ! so important. Yes, I understand ..we are young but we are also building our futures and even if this person is not who you are to be with...what actions are you doing now to ensure that you can even meet that person and do them right. Long story short if you are in love with a person SHOW THEM , tell them, never make them for one second feel unloved and this goes for both parties. Life is so short. If that person was gone tomorrow can you ensure that you were everything you could possibly have been to that person?  Love has no in between , it is black and white. We as a generation is letting there be gray areas when there shouldn't be. Dont settle on being a MAIN or even a side chick ... and bae ? if you are comfortable being a bae to another person you have to understand that that person may not be seeing u as anything higher than a bae cause saying you are a bae is saying you are comfortable with having no title . We honestly need to grow up. I'm ending this blog post saying if you are in love with a person dont hold back give them everything , your all , do right by them before it is too late , pray to God about them ...and if you can't then let them go,let them be great .

I love this song, makes me cry every time ... Love is real and amazing , when it's done the right way.


xoxokaneica

Don't Forget About Us !

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as in "us" I mean our HEALTH. Women's health is so important especially at a young age. As a child we had our parents to tell us when to go to the doctors, when to  take medicine and they monitored what we ate....no worries,right ? As we get older and our parents aren't there to tell us what to do anymore. It's now up to us to keep our bodies as healthy as possible. Even though we may all have very busy lives, dealing with school, work,family and even children , let's not forget about how important our health is :)

TIPs

1. Drink loads of water a day. Water helps keep our skin clear, our hair healthy, hydrates our bodies and is good for vaginal health.
2. Cleanse daily. Cleaning your body daily will help and prevent infections and disease. This also promotes a healthy body odor.
3. Be selfish with your body! This means don't let just anyone on or in your bodies (ill get more specific below)
4. Be sure to clean all makeup of before going to bed to avoid pimples and skin discoloration 
5. Eat healthy, avoiding foods with excess salt and sugar can prevent diseases like diabetes as well as high blood pressure.
6. Check your status. This goes along with number 3! This is so important. Get yourself tested, don't wait for someone to tell you that they may have "something". If you are active sexually there is no reason you should not know your sexually transmitted disease status with in the last six months, regardless of who your partner is and how many partners you have!
7. Checks up ! Make sure to see your doctor for feminine need (paps-mere, breast check etc.) 1-2 times a year.
8. Exercise ! whether you do it a little or a lot it is great to maintain great health :)

Don't forget about your health ladies !

xoxokaneica

Influential Women Sunday 

Toni Morrison 

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Toni Morrison, born Chloe Wofford , is an award winning African American Literature author. She began her studies at Howard University and graduated with a bachelors in English. She later began her writing career in 1970 with her first book, "The Bluest Eye" .She is also known for works such as "Song of Solomon" as well as endorsing president Obama before his presidency.

More information on Toni Morrison

Happy Sunday !

xoxkaneica

Youtuber of the Week !

Purely Kaice

watch her channel now for natural hair tips, beauty etc .. don't forget to subscribe !