Whose going to be strong for the strong ?...

Being admired for being a strong person use to never sit right with me. At one point I hated being called "strong" because that was when I would be hurting the most. Why do you get to be weak and be comforted and I have to be the strong one ? That was something I never understood. How can I be complimented for being at my lowest?
I then realized that being strong is not a choice. Being strong is something you are prepared to already be. If you got through a low point in your life , your strength didn't not just come out of no where.. honey you were prepared.When you find yourself to be weak ..you allowed yourself to be that way even though you have all the resources in the world to be strong.
Being strong does not mean holding in your emotions. Not in the slightest.Its actually means letting out ALL of your emotions and accepting them. Accepting how you feel so you can move on from what ever is holding you back.Finding your peace and keeping it is key to remaining strong.
It isn't cute being the victim ;) be yourself and be strong.

xoxokaneica

"A Man That Watch Another Man Never Moves"

This quote came from my grandfather that I have never met. Couple days ago when I was having "one of THEM day" I called my parents seeking comfort. They asked me what was wrong and all I can say to both was "I'm just overwhelmed". My dad of course gave me a lecture on how to not let things get to me and how on need to focus on my school work. My mother on the other hand dug a little deeper. She kinda already understood where the source of my overwhelm-ness  came from. She told me this quote "a man that watch another man never moves". She told me this is something my father's dad would always say. This quote was so significant to my life and stuck to me. My issue and I know a lot of women my age issue is  that sometimes we tend to care what others think about us way more than we should. What we don't realize is that the fact that we stress another's opinion we  give them satisfaction and takes away our energy and believe me I need all the energy I can get lol. What this quote means is that people who sit and what your every move or even have the time to watch your every move are doing absolutely nothing in their life but watching you. While you grow , they sit and watch. Them watching you should have no effect on you cause after all sometimes it feels good to have an audience ;) . Kill them with kindness and don't let them see you sweat. Let go of your fear of others opinions and hold on to your faith in God cause no weapon formed against you shall prosper <3


xoxokaneica

Being True to Yourself: PART 2
Stay Encouraged.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

~ Unknown

Lord knows I am the queen of being stressed out especially when it comes to school ,work and my social life. Stress can easily discourage us and make us want to give up. People around you who tend to not have the same heart as you can discourage you make you feel like you aren't enough. .You may even question "why am I even doing this ? whats the point anymore?"  . STAY Encouraged. That is the biggest part of being true to yourself. If you have to be your own motivation , do so! Tell yourself it gets better because if you Pray and put your mind to it ...it does. Stay in character and know yourself. Know yourself enough to know you are so much better than the negativity around you. This isn't advice I am just telling you all, This is advice I am currently trying to live by myself. The more of yourself you put out there in the world , the more people will be negative and try to bring you down. Build something I like call a "SELF ARMY". A self army doesn't physically fight nor does it argue. A self army is the defense in your head that tells you that regardless of what she or he is saying YOU GOT THIS , you are awesome and everything you are currently doing will more than anything pay off in the end. So today, start building your army. This world is cruel and the more you do the more the world will try to bring you down  but once you build that army you will immediately fight back with self assurance and positivity . No turning back now , it is your time.

xoxokaneica

Don't Forget About Us !

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as in "us" I mean our HEALTH. Women's health is so important especially at a young age. As a child we had our parents to tell us when to go to the doctors, when to  take medicine and they monitored what we ate....no worries,right ? As we get older and our parents aren't there to tell us what to do anymore. It's now up to us to keep our bodies as healthy as possible. Even though we may all have very busy lives, dealing with school, work,family and even children , let's not forget about how important our health is :)

TIPs

1. Drink loads of water a day. Water helps keep our skin clear, our hair healthy, hydrates our bodies and is good for vaginal health.
2. Cleanse daily. Cleaning your body daily will help and prevent infections and disease. This also promotes a healthy body odor.
3. Be selfish with your body! This means don't let just anyone on or in your bodies (ill get more specific below)
4. Be sure to clean all makeup of before going to bed to avoid pimples and skin discoloration 
5. Eat healthy, avoiding foods with excess salt and sugar can prevent diseases like diabetes as well as high blood pressure.
6. Check your status. This goes along with number 3! This is so important. Get yourself tested, don't wait for someone to tell you that they may have "something". If you are active sexually there is no reason you should not know your sexually transmitted disease status with in the last six months, regardless of who your partner is and how many partners you have!
7. Checks up ! Make sure to see your doctor for feminine need (paps-mere, breast check etc.) 1-2 times a year.
8. Exercise ! whether you do it a little or a lot it is great to maintain great health :)

Don't forget about your health ladies !

xoxokaneica

Forget #TeamNatural or #TeamRelaxed ! Here are my tips for #TeamHEALTHYhair 


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                                                                                                                                                                    So what exactly is Natural and Relaxed hair ?

Relaxed hair is the chemical processing of your hair using a cream that makes your hair permanently straight. Many Black women relaxed their hair so that their hair is a lot more manageable and it is also more accepted as a professional hair style for Black women.

Natural hair is your hair in it natural state and texture. No chemicals are used to stimulate the texture of your hair. African American women's typical natural state of hair can be described as"course" or kinky. In the past few year it has been a huge trend for Black women to get back to their roots , their natural hair roots that is and go natural. Many women have cut their hair short cutting off all relaxed ends . This process is called "The Big Chop". Women are also doing something called" transitioning" which means they are choosing to grow there hair out without cutting and relaxing their hair in hopes of eventually being fully natural.
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The Controversy      

With the going natural trend on a rise. There is now a strong natural hair community. Not all, but some of the natural hair community has been known to bash women who are still relaxed saying that they are ashamed of their roots . Women who are still relaxed are also known to bash women who have gone natural claiming that they look "nappy".

My Thoughts        

I am currently 4 months post relaxer and am on a healthy hair journey. I am not opposed to relaxers nor do I think Black women need relaxers. As black women, the fact that our hair is so versatile is a blessing. Being relaxed or natural I feel is purely a preference. Instead of bashing one another lets focus on how we can ALL achieve healthy hair  :)

TIPS !

1. MOISTURE- every hair type (relaxed or natural) requires moisture. Moisture helps our hair to feel and look healthy. Moisture is also important for hair growth. Don't forget to moisturize ! Examples of moisturizers are Hair lotion, leave-in conditioners, curl defining creams etc

My favorite hair moisturizer: Cantu Shea Butter leave-in conditioner 

2. Drink PLENTY of water. Water hydrates your body and aides in all around health including Hair Health.

3. Cover your hair nightly with a silk or satin scarf and or cap. This will help preserve hair and especially edges.

3.Read the ingredients of every product used in your hair. Make sure the ingredients are hair loving for example- natural oils (coconut,jojoba,olive,grape seed,almond) instead of things that can weight down and dry out hair such as mineral oil and alcohols.

4. Regardless if you are natural or relaxed heat should be kept to a minimum. Heat is VERY damaging to the hair. Try using tools such as flexi rods that can give you beautiful curl without one ounce of heat and if heat is a must never use it without a great heat protector spray!

5. A natural oil. This is a very amazing product to use on our hair. My natural oil of choice is raw coconut oil sent from my family in Jamaica. Natural oils can be found in your local grocery store as well as some beauty supply stores.Our hair works amazingly with natural oils it's kinda hard for me to explain but using a light natural oil influences growth, moisture and repair to your hair. I LOVE IT .

6.Deer Conditioning- Deep conditioning once a week is great to maintain healthy and strong hair

Hair Vitamins

Hair vitamins such as Biotin and famous brands such as "Hairinfinity" are used to enhance hair growth. With using these be cautious, not everyone's the same. You may not get the same results as well as you body may react differently from the next person. However , these are great and help so much with healthy hair growth. When using these plenty of water is a MUST.

Conclusion  

My biggest tip is to HAVE PATIENCE cause our hair is beautiful and it does grow ! :) 

xoxokaneica

                                                                

Being a "Young Woman"

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What is being a young woman to you ? As a college junior to be , I've seen it all. For some odd reason being "Young" as women in our generation okays negative behavior because "were just being young". We have to realize as beautiful young women we are the doorway to the next generation to come. We are the one's who have the children , we are the nurturers to be. We have to realize that if we don't hold ourselves up , no one else will. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask "What am I worth ?". Depending on what comes to mind , as women we need to reevaluate our motives and our values. There is nothing wrong with being independent .Now let's talk about what being independent is . Being independent does not mean , acting like one of the boys which is another misconception we make as young women today. Sleeping around and being a self proclaimed "player" does not make you independent. Being independent is being happy with and for yourself . Young women ,we have to come together to make this difference in how we are being viewed in society. Not every woman will understand the change that is needed but it takes oneself to look within and ask yourself again " what am I worth ?". Am i worth an education , am i worth having a good job, am i worth being in love and being treated right by a man ? As young women ask yourself these questions ...apply them to your lives and GROW. It is okay to make mistakes , we all do and we all will. God is an open God and he will never forsake a child that comes to him for guidance. Find your faith. Be around other women who drives you to do better but will not judge you for messing up. It's possible ladies. Let's prove this generation wrong. 

xoxokaneica