Whose going to be strong for the strong ?...

Being admired for being a strong person use to never sit right with me. At one point I hated being called "strong" because that was when I would be hurting the most. Why do you get to be weak and be comforted and I have to be the strong one ? That was something I never understood. How can I be complimented for being at my lowest?
I then realized that being strong is not a choice. Being strong is something you are prepared to already be. If you got through a low point in your life , your strength didn't not just come out of no where.. honey you were prepared.When you find yourself to be weak ..you allowed yourself to be that way even though you have all the resources in the world to be strong.
Being strong does not mean holding in your emotions. Not in the slightest.Its actually means letting out ALL of your emotions and accepting them. Accepting how you feel so you can move on from what ever is holding you back.Finding your peace and keeping it is key to remaining strong.
It isn't cute being the victim ;) be yourself and be strong.

xoxokaneica

Youtuber of the week !

Dephne Madyara

I recently found her amazing youtube and it's truly is a blessing. If you ever need a kick of faith her youtube is a must. This particular video had me in tears. She talked about not trusting in yourself but completely trusting in God and he'll take you from your current situation into the one you're meant to be in :). Let go of past situations so God can bring you to where you need to be or even to who you're meant to be with .She has amazing videos check her out and SUBSCRIBE !

Are you the GOOD GIRL ?
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Are you the girl who doesn't want to go to every outing ,you see the good in everyone , you have a good heart but rarely get credit for it?Being the "Good Girl" has to be one of the most difficult things in today's society to do. You tend to feel alone because you are a lot different from the girls around you ,you're afraid to say your opinions at times because you know it's what everyone least wants to hear. I'm here to say it is okay to be the good girl ! Growing up throughout middle and high school i was always the good girl out of my group of friends. I was always the one who wasn't really having sex, i wasn't aloud to go to many parties and I had a strong faith in God at a young age. .



Why is it okay to be the Good Girl ?
You have more time to learn about yourself as a woman. You learn to know what you will and won't allow for yourself... you learn self-worth a lot easier than most. Never feel intimidated ! Many girls or even guys will make you feel like you aren't cool for being a "good girl" but when things go wrong in their life they'll be running to you for advice. Take Pride in yourself ! If you have a strong faith, don't hide it for anyone , show people you love God and you may even bring them closer to him without even knowing and that's a blessing in itself. It's okay to make mistakes ! One mistake or a couple will not mess up your image don't worry ! know who you are and where you came from , understand the past will always be stuck in the past. Keep moving forward. Never give up! we all know the saying "Good girl gone bad" but if you are good girl at heart being "bad" will get old real soon , it isn't apart of your nature and that's okay girl ! You'll find love ! another saying we all know is " you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" lol and it's true you sure can't .. you don't have to sleep around to find love ... it's the girls that show substance ,standards and genuine care that gets the guy in the end ...trust me ;). last but not least HAVE FUN ! don't let trying to keep up a specific image turn you into a nun lol have fun , go out ...turn up ! it's okay because you earned it . You have kept yourself at such a high standard that going out will be nothing but fun! you'll have no drama and you can go home knowing you had a good time without compromising your values. Anything that you do will be because you wanted to, not cause you felt like you had to and people will respect you. The beauty of being a GOOD GIRL :)


xoxokaneica

LOVE.
I reluctantly write this post. I prayed about this post actually. I prayed that it would come across in a positive way, I don't want this post to represent my life or anyone else's life that I know but here my opinion on love. Love is amazing, one of the most amazing feelings you can ever feel and if you have yet to feel it , don't worry it's coming.Love is beautiful but eventually it gets real. Love is demanding, compromising... and as we all know it can hurt. Love requires FAITH. Faith in God and faith not in just the other person and faith in yourself. Loving yourself the way God intended. If ever a person makes you question what you can offer when you have given your all then at this moment you need to talk to God ask him , "am I doing all I can do ,?" and when the Lord speaks, you may not hear words but it is LOUD.. you feel it in your heart.I cannot tell you what decisions to make when it comes to staying in a relationship or not but I can tell you to do what gives you ultimate peace. If a person is not doing you right in a relationship don't retaliate, as good as it may feel in the moment to hurt that person, eventually you will be the only one hurt when you try to get revenge. I promise it isn't worth it. Now don't be dragged ! As i once heard , you either walk away or get dragged. This meaning you can gather yourself, your thoughts and walk away with peace. Getting dragged refers to constant arguing, constantly being depressed, constantly  WAITING. What exactly are you waiting for ? Just think about it. God will never "drag" you . Okay lets shift gears...now if you are the person doing the wrong ask yourself these questions , is it worth it? what if he/she walks out my life forever? depending on what you think about will tell you whether or not you are actually in love with the person you claim you love. Understand .... you have another persons heart in your hands and the simplest thing you do can rip that person apart. When it could be a lot more simple , realize you are making life difficult for that other person when it could be so easy..you can be so happy with that person if you are willing to grow up and be a man/woman. Think about if that person has been there for you , the time they put into you when they did not have to ..purely because they love you. When you think about your future and you think about the moment you see your wife/husband to be down the aisle looking amazing, and nervous at the same time because you two are about to spend the rest of their life together and everything you've ever done to them to hurt them,in that moment it all goes away because you and that person are finally confessing your love for one another in front of God and everyone else in your life, if you see that person that you are doing wrong ..you need to reevaluate your actions. Marriage is about feeling comfort , feeling trust and love. Those things are built overtime therefore these years are crucial ! so important. Yes, I understand ..we are young but we are also building our futures and even if this person is not who you are to be with...what actions are you doing now to ensure that you can even meet that person and do them right. Long story short if you are in love with a person SHOW THEM , tell them, never make them for one second feel unloved and this goes for both parties. Life is so short. If that person was gone tomorrow can you ensure that you were everything you could possibly have been to that person?  Love has no in between , it is black and white. We as a generation is letting there be gray areas when there shouldn't be. Dont settle on being a MAIN or even a side chick ... and bae ? if you are comfortable being a bae to another person you have to understand that that person may not be seeing u as anything higher than a bae cause saying you are a bae is saying you are comfortable with having no title . We honestly need to grow up. I'm ending this blog post saying if you are in love with a person dont hold back give them everything , your all , do right by them before it is too late , pray to God about them ...and if you can't then let them go,let them be great .

I love this song, makes me cry every time ... Love is real and amazing , when it's done the right way.


xoxokaneica

Pretty in PURPLE ?

Purple lipstick has to be my new obsession and today's latest lipstick trend. More and more makeup brands are coming out with amazing purple hues that is every skin tone friendly. Here just a couple purple lipsticks that I have in my possession and reviews and swatches just for you all !

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Heroine by MAC $16.00
My favoriteeee lipstick and the perfect matte purple. Even though it is matte is have a very creamy application. A $16.00 purchase you will not regret. The perfect purple !


5112 by Black Radiance $1-$2
This a bright red undertone purple. This is a very pretty purple and has a creamy application only thing I dislike is the packaging :(. The packaging tends to scrap the lipstick causing the lipstick to look messy. But still a very pretty purple and the lasting power is amazing for it just being a $1 lipstick.

Fine Wine by Cover Girl $5-$6
This has been my go to lately even tho this is a dark lipstick , it is very complimenting on darker skin tones and give you a sexy , edgy look ;). application is smooth and lasting power is great !

Lavender Tint by Nicka K cosmetics $1
This is such a pretty bright color. Bright pale purple.  It may be a little bright for some skin tones but that can be easily fixed by a darker brown lip liner. This dollar lipstick is very pigmented ,lasting power is that great but it is very moisturizing 

Plum Orchid 5117 by Black Radiance $1-$2
My latest pick up and my newest love <3 . This creamy purple is a little deeper than heroine and is the perfect go to purple for any skin tone. Once again i cant stand the black radiance lipstick packaging but this purple is perfection

Vamp it Up by Wet n Wild $1.99
The deepest purple that I have . It can look very harsh if worn in the daytime but it can look very edgy as apart of a night time look . I normally use it to line my lighter purples but if you are looking for a dupe to MAC's cyber lipstick this is perfect. Application is kinda hard , this is a very matte lipstick.

Jumbo Gloss Balm in 260 by Cover Girl $5-6
This is a very sheer glossy purple for my girls who aren't really into lipsticks. This a really easy going lip choice. Very pretty!







SWATCHES !!

(starting from top left): plum orchid,lavender tint,cover girl jumbo stick in 260,fine wine, black radiance 5112, heroine,vamp it up 



Be Bold !

xoxokaneica

what is CONFIDENCE ?

Today I volunteered at an assisted living home that my mother works at. It was a great experience to work with the elderly.Even if we only played bingo it was just a natural sense of wisdom in the room. It was amazing to look at these beautiful women and just imagine that everything I am going through now is just a sweet memory to them now. As I walked out of the facility on a natural high, the receptionist tells my mother "wow, she's very confident". I smiled, because it wasn't my clothing, my hair or any materialistic thing that caused her to notice my confidence as i was wearing just a T shirt, jeans and my hair was messed up by the fan blowing in the bingo room upstairs lol. Confidence is not a look or anything you can buy, it is simply a state of mind. It is how you think of yourself.  Looking beyond your appearance. SELF LOVE is confidence. Loving yourself regardless of your mistakes you've made in life. We were not made to be perfect people . We were made to grow and learn. Confidence is not knowing how you are going to get there but knowing where you want to be. Understand the road will not be easy but knowing it is worth it. Confidence is finding your peace and to know that absolutely no one can take it away. Confidence is talking to God and knowing a blessing is coming your way regardless of what the situation is. Confidence is SELF ACCEPTANCE. Loving every little weird aspect of yourself, smiling at what others may judge. Know that if they're judging you, it simply means they aren't confidence with themselves. Last but not least STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. That is the biggest flaw we have as young women unfortunately. Once you just look at yourself and say that  " I am irreplaceable and there is no one like me' who can tell you any different !? Confidence does not come out of compliments is come from loving , accepting and being yourself. Suddenly you will start dressing the way YOU want to, doing the thing that YOU want to do and the compliments will come naturally. Do remember compliments are not important just focus on being the best you. 

xoxokaneica

Forget #TeamNatural or #TeamRelaxed ! Here are my tips for #TeamHEALTHYhair 


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                                                                                                                                                                    So what exactly is Natural and Relaxed hair ?

Relaxed hair is the chemical processing of your hair using a cream that makes your hair permanently straight. Many Black women relaxed their hair so that their hair is a lot more manageable and it is also more accepted as a professional hair style for Black women.

Natural hair is your hair in it natural state and texture. No chemicals are used to stimulate the texture of your hair. African American women's typical natural state of hair can be described as"course" or kinky. In the past few year it has been a huge trend for Black women to get back to their roots , their natural hair roots that is and go natural. Many women have cut their hair short cutting off all relaxed ends . This process is called "The Big Chop". Women are also doing something called" transitioning" which means they are choosing to grow there hair out without cutting and relaxing their hair in hopes of eventually being fully natural.
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The Controversy      

With the going natural trend on a rise. There is now a strong natural hair community. Not all, but some of the natural hair community has been known to bash women who are still relaxed saying that they are ashamed of their roots . Women who are still relaxed are also known to bash women who have gone natural claiming that they look "nappy".

My Thoughts        

I am currently 4 months post relaxer and am on a healthy hair journey. I am not opposed to relaxers nor do I think Black women need relaxers. As black women, the fact that our hair is so versatile is a blessing. Being relaxed or natural I feel is purely a preference. Instead of bashing one another lets focus on how we can ALL achieve healthy hair  :)

TIPS !

1. MOISTURE- every hair type (relaxed or natural) requires moisture. Moisture helps our hair to feel and look healthy. Moisture is also important for hair growth. Don't forget to moisturize ! Examples of moisturizers are Hair lotion, leave-in conditioners, curl defining creams etc

My favorite hair moisturizer: Cantu Shea Butter leave-in conditioner 

2. Drink PLENTY of water. Water hydrates your body and aides in all around health including Hair Health.

3. Cover your hair nightly with a silk or satin scarf and or cap. This will help preserve hair and especially edges.

3.Read the ingredients of every product used in your hair. Make sure the ingredients are hair loving for example- natural oils (coconut,jojoba,olive,grape seed,almond) instead of things that can weight down and dry out hair such as mineral oil and alcohols.

4. Regardless if you are natural or relaxed heat should be kept to a minimum. Heat is VERY damaging to the hair. Try using tools such as flexi rods that can give you beautiful curl without one ounce of heat and if heat is a must never use it without a great heat protector spray!

5. A natural oil. This is a very amazing product to use on our hair. My natural oil of choice is raw coconut oil sent from my family in Jamaica. Natural oils can be found in your local grocery store as well as some beauty supply stores.Our hair works amazingly with natural oils it's kinda hard for me to explain but using a light natural oil influences growth, moisture and repair to your hair. I LOVE IT .

6.Deer Conditioning- Deep conditioning once a week is great to maintain healthy and strong hair

Hair Vitamins

Hair vitamins such as Biotin and famous brands such as "Hairinfinity" are used to enhance hair growth. With using these be cautious, not everyone's the same. You may not get the same results as well as you body may react differently from the next person. However , these are great and help so much with healthy hair growth. When using these plenty of water is a MUST.

Conclusion  

My biggest tip is to HAVE PATIENCE cause our hair is beautiful and it does grow ! :) 

xoxokaneica

                                                                

Being a "Young Woman"

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What is being a young woman to you ? As a college junior to be , I've seen it all. For some odd reason being "Young" as women in our generation okays negative behavior because "were just being young". We have to realize as beautiful young women we are the doorway to the next generation to come. We are the one's who have the children , we are the nurturers to be. We have to realize that if we don't hold ourselves up , no one else will. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask "What am I worth ?". Depending on what comes to mind , as women we need to reevaluate our motives and our values. There is nothing wrong with being independent .Now let's talk about what being independent is . Being independent does not mean , acting like one of the boys which is another misconception we make as young women today. Sleeping around and being a self proclaimed "player" does not make you independent. Being independent is being happy with and for yourself . Young women ,we have to come together to make this difference in how we are being viewed in society. Not every woman will understand the change that is needed but it takes oneself to look within and ask yourself again " what am I worth ?". Am i worth an education , am i worth having a good job, am i worth being in love and being treated right by a man ? As young women ask yourself these questions ...apply them to your lives and GROW. It is okay to make mistakes , we all do and we all will. God is an open God and he will never forsake a child that comes to him for guidance. Find your faith. Be around other women who drives you to do better but will not judge you for messing up. It's possible ladies. Let's prove this generation wrong. 

xoxokaneica