Whose going to be strong for the strong ?...
Being admired for being a strong person use to never sit right with me. At one point I hated being called "strong" because that was when I would be hurting the most. Why do you get to be weak and be comforted and I have to be the strong one ? That was something I never understood. How can I be complimented for being at my lowest?
I then realized that being strong is not a choice. Being strong is something you are prepared to already be. If you got through a low point in your life , your strength didn't not just come out of no where.. honey you were prepared.When you find yourself to be weak ..you allowed yourself to be that way even though you have all the resources in the world to be strong.
Being strong does not mean holding in your emotions. Not in the slightest.Its actually means letting out ALL of your emotions and accepting them. Accepting how you feel so you can move on from what ever is holding you back.Finding your peace and keeping it is key to remaining strong.
It isn't cute being the victim ;) be yourself and be strong.
xoxokaneica
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
"Unapologetically me."
This right here, is my new years resolution. My oath to myself. What I pray to ultimately become. 2014, the year of CHANGE has been defiantly a tough one. This was a year of growth and learning to love self. Let me say that again... learning to love SELF. Talking to a group of friends the other day we questioned, is it possible to have a big heart now a days. The truth is, having a big heart is so important but whats more important is leaving a huge part of that heart for yourself. Now i know that sounds bad but don't think of it as being selfish. In that part of your heart that's where you find your passion, faith, peace and ultimate care for yourself. That is the base of having successful relationships with friends, family and significant others. No more depending on others for your happiness. Know that your happiness is already within you, you are the author of your story.
God pushes us to be who he wants us to be in our lives. He pushes us in that directions through test and obstacles and this is why prayer is so important in this new year. Holding on to your faith and leaning only to your faith for understanding will help you grow to being the "you" your suppose to be.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.-proverbs 3:5
Being "unapologetically me" means that i will no longer care what others think of me as a person. As long as i am being myself, who cares what they think...who cares what anyone thinks. No more saying sorry or being sorry for who you are. Cry when you feel like crying, laugh when something is funny. Fulfill yourself and you will worry less.
Leave what you are use to. Leave your comfort zone. Sounds easy right? Well this was one of the hardest things I had to do this year. Letting go what I knew hindered me. Letting go is something we have to realize is apart of life. Understand regardless of if you leave peacefully or unruly,your gut never lies. Walk away from what distracts your focus and peace. God knows what he is doing and if that situation is meant to be there at this point in your life he will place it there to better you or teach you a lesson.... know the difference. See when you are a better you , whether it is with or without the particular situation, make the decision that will take you to the next level of your life.
I don't believe in the saying "new year , new me" ..i believe in being a better me. A me that will look at the past each year and say "Thank you God, I've come a long way" ....2015 I am Unapologetically me <3.
xoxokaneica
This right here, is my new years resolution. My oath to myself. What I pray to ultimately become. 2014, the year of CHANGE has been defiantly a tough one. This was a year of growth and learning to love self. Let me say that again... learning to love SELF. Talking to a group of friends the other day we questioned, is it possible to have a big heart now a days. The truth is, having a big heart is so important but whats more important is leaving a huge part of that heart for yourself. Now i know that sounds bad but don't think of it as being selfish. In that part of your heart that's where you find your passion, faith, peace and ultimate care for yourself. That is the base of having successful relationships with friends, family and significant others. No more depending on others for your happiness. Know that your happiness is already within you, you are the author of your story.
God pushes us to be who he wants us to be in our lives. He pushes us in that directions through test and obstacles and this is why prayer is so important in this new year. Holding on to your faith and leaning only to your faith for understanding will help you grow to being the "you" your suppose to be.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.-proverbs 3:5
Being "unapologetically me" means that i will no longer care what others think of me as a person. As long as i am being myself, who cares what they think...who cares what anyone thinks. No more saying sorry or being sorry for who you are. Cry when you feel like crying, laugh when something is funny. Fulfill yourself and you will worry less.
Leave what you are use to. Leave your comfort zone. Sounds easy right? Well this was one of the hardest things I had to do this year. Letting go what I knew hindered me. Letting go is something we have to realize is apart of life. Understand regardless of if you leave peacefully or unruly,your gut never lies. Walk away from what distracts your focus and peace. God knows what he is doing and if that situation is meant to be there at this point in your life he will place it there to better you or teach you a lesson.... know the difference. See when you are a better you , whether it is with or without the particular situation, make the decision that will take you to the next level of your life.
I don't believe in the saying "new year , new me" ..i believe in being a better me. A me that will look at the past each year and say "Thank you God, I've come a long way" ....2015 I am Unapologetically me <3.
xoxokaneica
Friday, December 12, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
"What about your friends ?"
Let's talk about friendship. ...
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html#hiwJwWHtbQocYYdu.99
Being a young adult you find that it is a lot harder to keep friends unlike back in high school when you were friends with everybody. Now a days having true friends are more vital to our lives than we think. Things are becoming more hectic and serious in your life and the last thing anyone needs is a "friend" who is not concerned with your well-being.
Having a good friend starts with you being one yourself. You can't be selfish only worried about your own issues if you want someone to care about you. Be there for the people you consider friends. Make them know you love them and no it doesn't have to even me sappy lol. A simple , "you're awesome" or "thanks for being here for me" would do. Check in often and let go off all judgement's . The last thing you want to be is the judgmental friend.One thing I can say though, If you want REAL friends then you have to be open to some criticism.
Surround yourself with great people. People that make you smile, people that make you laugh and even when you cry they are a shoulder to lean on, are great people to surround yourself with. If you find that you aren't completely yourself around these people then they aren't your friends. Your friends should be the people before anyone else to let you know when your at you're at your best and of course at your worst.
If you fear that someone in your life isn't being a good friend don't hesitate to let them know how you feel. If they don't feel like they need to adjust somethings to make your friendship better, run far away.. no one has time for a dead friendship.
xoxokaneica
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html#hiwJwWHtbQocYYdu.99
Being Broken. </3
bro·ken heart
noun
- used in reference to a state of extreme grief or sorrow, typically caused by the death of a loved one or the ending of a romantic relationship.
The one thing I hurt the most about is seeing someone "break" another person. To take that joy and security as if it never meant anything in the first place. Being broken isn't a death sentence, i promise. Believe it or not everyone has experienced this more than once in their lives and you're not alone. Look at yourself and know that you are worthy. Know that you will always be beautiful, even when that person is not around anymore to tell you so. Love yourself like no ones watching. These sounds so cliche but once you start to apply it to your life and put your pride aside, your peace will come. Don't dwell on a broken heart, feel your chest and know that the Lord has chosen you to breathe another breath of life that that person could not take from you. Don't hate yourself for not moving on ,give yourself time to be yourself and to feel real emotions because if you don't do it now you will never move on. Being broken is a GROWTH process. The key word is GROW. Growing should be your only goal. Yes, you will have set backs but that is only apart of the process. Find a passion and be passionate! Love you and what you do. In this moment is when you will find joy through being broken. Faith plays a huge part of your process as well.
Hebrews 11:111 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Knowing that your greater is coming without seeing it is what faith is all about. Letting go of your SELF negativity. Yes, i said self. Too many times we let ourselves think that its others bringing us down when a lot of times we are bring our own selves. Being positive and letting self know that you are a queen or king is all that matters. A broken heart doesn't compare to the amazing person you are becoming.
xoxokaneica
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+11%3A1&version=KJV
Monday, September 29, 2014
"A Man That Watch Another Man Never Moves"
This quote came from my grandfather that I have never met. Couple days ago when I was having "one of THEM day" I called my parents seeking comfort. They asked me what was wrong and all I can say to both was "I'm just overwhelmed". My dad of course gave me a lecture on how to not let things get to me and how on need to focus on my school work. My mother on the other hand dug a little deeper. She kinda already understood where the source of my overwhelm-ness came from. She told me this quote "a man that watch another man never moves". She told me this is something my father's dad would always say. This quote was so significant to my life and stuck to me. My issue and I know a lot of women my age issue is that sometimes we tend to care what others think about us way more than we should. What we don't realize is that the fact that we stress another's opinion we give them satisfaction and takes away our energy and believe me I need all the energy I can get lol. What this quote means is that people who sit and what your every move or even have the time to watch your every move are doing absolutely nothing in their life but watching you. While you grow , they sit and watch. Them watching you should have no effect on you cause after all sometimes it feels good to have an audience ;) . Kill them with kindness and don't let them see you sweat. Let go of your fear of others opinions and hold on to your faith in God cause no weapon formed against you shall prosper <3
xoxokaneica
This quote came from my grandfather that I have never met. Couple days ago when I was having "one of THEM day" I called my parents seeking comfort. They asked me what was wrong and all I can say to both was "I'm just overwhelmed". My dad of course gave me a lecture on how to not let things get to me and how on need to focus on my school work. My mother on the other hand dug a little deeper. She kinda already understood where the source of my overwhelm-ness came from. She told me this quote "a man that watch another man never moves". She told me this is something my father's dad would always say. This quote was so significant to my life and stuck to me. My issue and I know a lot of women my age issue is that sometimes we tend to care what others think about us way more than we should. What we don't realize is that the fact that we stress another's opinion we give them satisfaction and takes away our energy and believe me I need all the energy I can get lol. What this quote means is that people who sit and what your every move or even have the time to watch your every move are doing absolutely nothing in their life but watching you. While you grow , they sit and watch. Them watching you should have no effect on you cause after all sometimes it feels good to have an audience ;) . Kill them with kindness and don't let them see you sweat. Let go of your fear of others opinions and hold on to your faith in God cause no weapon formed against you shall prosper <3
xoxokaneica
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
"You Cute For a DARKSKIN GIRL!"
"LIGHTSKINS Don't text back!"
xoxokaneica
Thursday, July 24, 2014
The Best Years of Your Lives: A Letter to College Freshman
Nothings better than finally getting that acceptance letter. That sigh of relief because you're finally going to college. Seems like something you've waited your whole life for is finally here. After the excitement calms down a bit, you now begin to be anxious maybe even a little scared. You realize that this will be nothing like high school and mom and dad won't always be around when you need them. I'm here to tell you this is the start of the best years of your lives. College will be everything you make it , don't expect too much, go with the flow and have fun. School work should definitely come first and don't worry about being peer pressured to not do work because an "A" feels a lot better than a hangover,trust me. Here's a couple tips to how to successfully get through your first year of college.
Nothings better than finally getting that acceptance letter. That sigh of relief because you're finally going to college. Seems like something you've waited your whole life for is finally here. After the excitement calms down a bit, you now begin to be anxious maybe even a little scared. You realize that this will be nothing like high school and mom and dad won't always be around when you need them. I'm here to tell you this is the start of the best years of your lives. College will be everything you make it , don't expect too much, go with the flow and have fun. School work should definitely come first and don't worry about being peer pressured to not do work because an "A" feels a lot better than a hangover,trust me. Here's a couple tips to how to successfully get through your first year of college.
Social Life.
As a freshman, don't strive to know the "popular" people. you'll end up looking crazy and not many people will want to be around you. Get involved! be around positive , fun people and you just might end up being the popular one. You don't necessarily have to be at every outing or event but don't be closed in. Even if you don't know anybody, don't hesitate to go to things happening on campus. That is the perfect way to get to know people and for others to get a great impression of you. Network !
Work Ethic.
Strive to create a great work ethic. it's all about balance. Know when to study but also know when to take a break for yourself. Try to never ever make laziness apart of your daily routine. Push for greatness, graduation should always be the first thing on your mind.
Stay Humble.
Don't let the college life make you forget where you came from. Call home weekly, let those know at home if you're doing well or not. It's easy sometimes to get so caught up in your college life that you forget about your home life.
Relationships.
If you end up in a relationship the beginning of your freshman year ,like I did, lol or if you are beginning college in a relationship my biggest piece of advice is to take it slow. Understand that you both are at a new stage in your lives and it will not be the easiest. Don't be discouraged by the up's and down's ..true love will always prevail .
Last but not least , takes these years to better know yourself.. every semester you should feel growth in yourself. Your friends may go and come , your major may change but it's all in the beauty of growing up and becoming your own form of success.
photo
Last but not least , takes these years to better know yourself.. every semester you should feel growth in yourself. Your friends may go and come , your major may change but it's all in the beauty of growing up and becoming your own form of success.
photo
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Youtuber of the week !
I recently found her amazing youtube and it's truly is a blessing. If you ever need a kick of faith her youtube is a must. This particular video had me in tears. She talked about not trusting in yourself but completely trusting in God and he'll take you from your current situation into the one you're meant to be in :). Let go of past situations so God can bring you to where you need to be or even to who you're meant to be with .She has amazing videos check her out and SUBSCRIBE !
Monday, July 7, 2014
Are you the GOOD GIRL ?
photo credit
Are you the girl who doesn't want to go to every outing ,you see the good in everyone , you have a good heart but rarely get credit for it?Being the "Good Girl" has to be one of the most difficult things in today's society to do. You tend to feel alone because you are a lot different from the girls around you ,you're afraid to say your opinions at times because you know it's what everyone least wants to hear. I'm here to say it is okay to be the good girl ! Growing up throughout middle and high school i was always the good girl out of my group of friends. I was always the one who wasn't really having sex, i wasn't aloud to go to many parties and I had a strong faith in God at a young age. .
Why is it okay to be the Good Girl ?
You have more time to learn about yourself as a woman. You learn to know what you will and won't allow for yourself... you learn self-worth a lot easier than most. Never feel intimidated ! Many girls or even guys will make you feel like you aren't cool for being a "good girl" but when things go wrong in their life they'll be running to you for advice. Take Pride in yourself ! If you have a strong faith, don't hide it for anyone , show people you love God and you may even bring them closer to him without even knowing and that's a blessing in itself. It's okay to make mistakes ! One mistake or a couple will not mess up your image don't worry ! know who you are and where you came from , understand the past will always be stuck in the past. Keep moving forward. Never give up! we all know the saying "Good girl gone bad" but if you are good girl at heart being "bad" will get old real soon , it isn't apart of your nature and that's okay girl ! You'll find love ! another saying we all know is " you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" lol and it's true you sure can't .. you don't have to sleep around to find love ... it's the girls that show substance ,standards and genuine care that gets the guy in the end ...trust me ;). last but not least HAVE FUN ! don't let trying to keep up a specific image turn you into a nun lol have fun , go out ...turn up ! it's okay because you earned it . You have kept yourself at such a high standard that going out will be nothing but fun! you'll have no drama and you can go home knowing you had a good time without compromising your values. Anything that you do will be because you wanted to, not cause you felt like you had to and people will respect you. The beauty of being a GOOD GIRL :)
xoxokaneica
photo credit
Are you the girl who doesn't want to go to every outing ,you see the good in everyone , you have a good heart but rarely get credit for it?Being the "Good Girl" has to be one of the most difficult things in today's society to do. You tend to feel alone because you are a lot different from the girls around you ,you're afraid to say your opinions at times because you know it's what everyone least wants to hear. I'm here to say it is okay to be the good girl ! Growing up throughout middle and high school i was always the good girl out of my group of friends. I was always the one who wasn't really having sex, i wasn't aloud to go to many parties and I had a strong faith in God at a young age. .
Why is it okay to be the Good Girl ?
You have more time to learn about yourself as a woman. You learn to know what you will and won't allow for yourself... you learn self-worth a lot easier than most. Never feel intimidated ! Many girls or even guys will make you feel like you aren't cool for being a "good girl" but when things go wrong in their life they'll be running to you for advice. Take Pride in yourself ! If you have a strong faith, don't hide it for anyone , show people you love God and you may even bring them closer to him without even knowing and that's a blessing in itself. It's okay to make mistakes ! One mistake or a couple will not mess up your image don't worry ! know who you are and where you came from , understand the past will always be stuck in the past. Keep moving forward. Never give up! we all know the saying "Good girl gone bad" but if you are good girl at heart being "bad" will get old real soon , it isn't apart of your nature and that's okay girl ! You'll find love ! another saying we all know is " you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" lol and it's true you sure can't .. you don't have to sleep around to find love ... it's the girls that show substance ,standards and genuine care that gets the guy in the end ...trust me ;). last but not least HAVE FUN ! don't let trying to keep up a specific image turn you into a nun lol have fun , go out ...turn up ! it's okay because you earned it . You have kept yourself at such a high standard that going out will be nothing but fun! you'll have no drama and you can go home knowing you had a good time without compromising your values. Anything that you do will be because you wanted to, not cause you felt like you had to and people will respect you. The beauty of being a GOOD GIRL :)
xoxokaneica
Thursday, July 3, 2014
LOVE.
I reluctantly write this post. I prayed about this post actually. I prayed that it would come across in a positive way, I don't want this post to represent my life or anyone else's life that I know but here my opinion on love. Love is amazing, one of the most amazing feelings you can ever feel and if you have yet to feel it , don't worry it's coming.Love is beautiful but eventually it gets real. Love is demanding, compromising... and as we all know it can hurt. Love requires FAITH. Faith in God and faith not in just the other person and faith in yourself. Loving yourself the way God intended. If ever a person makes you question what you can offer when you have given your all then at this moment you need to talk to God ask him , "am I doing all I can do ,?" and when the Lord speaks, you may not hear words but it is LOUD.. you feel it in your heart.I cannot tell you what decisions to make when it comes to staying in a relationship or not but I can tell you to do what gives you ultimate peace. If a person is not doing you right in a relationship don't retaliate, as good as it may feel in the moment to hurt that person, eventually you will be the only one hurt when you try to get revenge. I promise it isn't worth it. Now don't be dragged ! As i once heard , you either walk away or get dragged. This meaning you can gather yourself, your thoughts and walk away with peace. Getting dragged refers to constant arguing, constantly being depressed, constantly WAITING. What exactly are you waiting for ? Just think about it. God will never "drag" you . Okay lets shift gears...now if you are the person doing the wrong ask yourself these questions , is it worth it? what if he/she walks out my life forever? depending on what you think about will tell you whether or not you are actually in love with the person you claim you love. Understand .... you have another persons heart in your hands and the simplest thing you do can rip that person apart. When it could be a lot more simple , realize you are making life difficult for that other person when it could be so easy..you can be so happy with that person if you are willing to grow up and be a man/woman. Think about if that person has been there for you , the time they put into you when they did not have to ..purely because they love you. When you think about your future and you think about the moment you see your wife/husband to be down the aisle looking amazing, and nervous at the same time because you two are about to spend the rest of their life together and everything you've ever done to them to hurt them,in that moment it all goes away because you and that person are finally confessing your love for one another in front of God and everyone else in your life, if you see that person that you are doing wrong ..you need to reevaluate your actions. Marriage is about feeling comfort , feeling trust and love. Those things are built overtime therefore these years are crucial ! so important. Yes, I understand ..we are young but we are also building our futures and even if this person is not who you are to be with...what actions are you doing now to ensure that you can even meet that person and do them right. Long story short if you are in love with a person SHOW THEM , tell them, never make them for one second feel unloved and this goes for both parties. Life is so short. If that person was gone tomorrow can you ensure that you were everything you could possibly have been to that person? Love has no in between , it is black and white. We as a generation is letting there be gray areas when there shouldn't be. Dont settle on being a MAIN or even a side chick ... and bae ? if you are comfortable being a bae to another person you have to understand that that person may not be seeing u as anything higher than a bae cause saying you are a bae is saying you are comfortable with having no title . We honestly need to grow up. I'm ending this blog post saying if you are in love with a person dont hold back give them everything , your all , do right by them before it is too late , pray to God about them ...and if you can't then let them go,let them be great .
I love this song, makes me cry every time ... Love is real and amazing , when it's done the right way.
xoxokaneica
I reluctantly write this post. I prayed about this post actually. I prayed that it would come across in a positive way, I don't want this post to represent my life or anyone else's life that I know but here my opinion on love. Love is amazing, one of the most amazing feelings you can ever feel and if you have yet to feel it , don't worry it's coming.Love is beautiful but eventually it gets real. Love is demanding, compromising... and as we all know it can hurt. Love requires FAITH. Faith in God and faith not in just the other person and faith in yourself. Loving yourself the way God intended. If ever a person makes you question what you can offer when you have given your all then at this moment you need to talk to God ask him , "am I doing all I can do ,?" and when the Lord speaks, you may not hear words but it is LOUD.. you feel it in your heart.I cannot tell you what decisions to make when it comes to staying in a relationship or not but I can tell you to do what gives you ultimate peace. If a person is not doing you right in a relationship don't retaliate, as good as it may feel in the moment to hurt that person, eventually you will be the only one hurt when you try to get revenge. I promise it isn't worth it. Now don't be dragged ! As i once heard , you either walk away or get dragged. This meaning you can gather yourself, your thoughts and walk away with peace. Getting dragged refers to constant arguing, constantly being depressed, constantly WAITING. What exactly are you waiting for ? Just think about it. God will never "drag" you . Okay lets shift gears...now if you are the person doing the wrong ask yourself these questions , is it worth it? what if he/she walks out my life forever? depending on what you think about will tell you whether or not you are actually in love with the person you claim you love. Understand .... you have another persons heart in your hands and the simplest thing you do can rip that person apart. When it could be a lot more simple , realize you are making life difficult for that other person when it could be so easy..you can be so happy with that person if you are willing to grow up and be a man/woman. Think about if that person has been there for you , the time they put into you when they did not have to ..purely because they love you. When you think about your future and you think about the moment you see your wife/husband to be down the aisle looking amazing, and nervous at the same time because you two are about to spend the rest of their life together and everything you've ever done to them to hurt them,in that moment it all goes away because you and that person are finally confessing your love for one another in front of God and everyone else in your life, if you see that person that you are doing wrong ..you need to reevaluate your actions. Marriage is about feeling comfort , feeling trust and love. Those things are built overtime therefore these years are crucial ! so important. Yes, I understand ..we are young but we are also building our futures and even if this person is not who you are to be with...what actions are you doing now to ensure that you can even meet that person and do them right. Long story short if you are in love with a person SHOW THEM , tell them, never make them for one second feel unloved and this goes for both parties. Life is so short. If that person was gone tomorrow can you ensure that you were everything you could possibly have been to that person? Love has no in between , it is black and white. We as a generation is letting there be gray areas when there shouldn't be. Dont settle on being a MAIN or even a side chick ... and bae ? if you are comfortable being a bae to another person you have to understand that that person may not be seeing u as anything higher than a bae cause saying you are a bae is saying you are comfortable with having no title . We honestly need to grow up. I'm ending this blog post saying if you are in love with a person dont hold back give them everything , your all , do right by them before it is too late , pray to God about them ...and if you can't then let them go,let them be great .
xoxokaneica
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)